Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
