dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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