I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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