summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Randomize
