Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
