i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
