Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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