We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
