are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
