I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
