big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
where does the pee come out of this thing
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
