This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
