it was like eating out sand paper
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
