no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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