vagina is talking i cant
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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