the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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