is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
