i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
