Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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