shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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