Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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