I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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