I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
