Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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