are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
