you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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