I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
