You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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