after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
