Non-Jews are for practice
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
