Do you still have your period?
only if we run a train.
done.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
