Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Randomize
