I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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