was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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