I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize