I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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