Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
