I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
