i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just cropdusted the office
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize