dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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