I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
