The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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