I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
