trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
