the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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