I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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