jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
