FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
