Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
