Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
