i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
