What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
