Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize