He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
