whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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