Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
