home. puking in laundry basket.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
