I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
