A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
