I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
