i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
